Eighteen Rounds

I dread course reviews.

After finishing one cohort of my course, I didn’t even check the email notifications. I went straight on vacation.

When I came back, I was surprised to find that the reviews were unanimously great.

When I tell people I’ve taught eighteen cohorts, what I don’t share is that they were eighteen rounds of fighting imposter syndrome and self-criticism, and trying to do better the next time.

There wasn’t a single cohort when I didn’t feel anxiety, stress, or worry about falling short, sometimes to the point of not sleeping well. After every one, even when the feedback was good, I felt the same mix: fatigue, imposter syndrome, anxiety about ratings, and a wish that I’d done a better job.

But I pushed through every one. It’s still far from perfect, but each cohort has been better than the one before.